I'm what some people call a nutritional over-achiever.   Over the years, they've had a few other politically correct names for my condition.   But, when all is said and done, it comes down to one simple fact.  I'm fat.

Before I continue, let's put it in perspective.  There are, after all, varying degrees of fat.  We're not talking gross tonnage, but the bathroom scale winces when it sees me step out of the shower.  For that matter, so does my wife.   I could stand to lose a good sixty pounds.

I've tried several different weight loss programs over the years, but they all had one major drawback.  They wanted me to eat less.  Give up red meat, snack on freeze-dried seaweed, and drink lots of Jim Beam.  Alright, that last one was my idea.  My wife didn't buy it either.

I recently got serious about weight loss, again, and joined a program at work.  I considered one of the more well-known programs, until they hired Monica Lewinski as their new spokesperson.  Nothing about her makes me want to lose weight.   My lunch, maybe, but not weight.

So I chose a different program.  In this one, all foods are assigned a point value, and you can only eat so many points per day.  Naturally, everything good is high in points.  Still, you can eat about anything.  You just can't eat it all in one day.

So far, I like the program.  I eat whatever I want, and in just ten weeks, I've lost a little over twenty pounds.  The secret is to go to your first meeting with your pockets full of lead.  Then just get rid of some each week.   They're happy, I'm happy, everyone's happy.  I've even got a pink ribbon to prove it.

There's only one problem.  I'm out of lead.  I weighed in without socks and underwear last week, but I don't think I can go much further.   Sooner or later, I'll have to start eating less.  Come on, this is the twenty-first century.  Isn't there an easier way?

There are options.  The food industry has made a fortune from our desire to lose weight.  They take a bunch of junk you wouldn't feed a dog, mix it all together, give it a healthy sounding name, and package it in a green box.  You eat it, but only because your co-workers are watching.

I have found a few diet foods I like.  Very few.  I can live with spray butter and low-fat cheese, but I draw the line at turkey hot dogs.  I threw one in the garbage can and the maggots ran for cover.

Instead, we've changed the way we prepare food.  I use the gas grill a lot more, which makes my wife happy.  If the menu calls for grilled food, it means she doesn't have to cook.