That's right, someone thinks we should give our police officers alcohol.  Like they've never tasted it before.  I'm pretty sure there's been a lot of independent research in this area.  In fact, I think I may have participated once or twice.  I doubt that bottle of tequila they took from me in 1977 went back to Mexico.

The purpose of this study is to allow officers to observe their buddies' behavior at varying levels of intoxication.  I'm fairly certain they've done this before, too.  In most states, they call it "Happy Hour."

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration supports this type of training.  They even provide information and federal grants to help conduct "wet seminars."  I can only imagine where that name came from, and it doesn't paint a pretty picture.

Apparently, this technique is widely used to train officers in sobriety tests.  One cop drinks, and his buddies try to guess how intoxicated he is.   Then they confirm their suspicions with a blood-alcohol test.  We used to play a similar game when I was in the Navy, only ours wasn't nearly as scientific.

According to an ABC News report, the Ohio Highway Patrol has been using alcohol in training for years.  One officer said the program is useful in showing officers the effects of alcohol firsthand.  Well, duh!  It makes me wonder, are they trying to teach them how to administer a field sobriety test, or how to pass one?

This won't cost Ohio taxpayers anything, because the seminars will use confiscated liquor.  I think it's a great idea, if you're stupid enough to ingest anything you took away from a teenager.  One of the most cherished rites of adolescence is the sharing of laxatives, and they do this to their friends.  What could be better than nailing a roomful of cops?

With that in mind, I have to wonder how they decide who gets to drink.   Is it based on seniority?  I think it should be the chief.  From what I've seen in the news lately, no harm can come from teaching officers how to spot an intoxicated police chief.

I'd like to suggest a better alternative.  Let the police open a few bars of their own.  They can put a breathalyzer by the door, build a cell block out back, study drunks all day long, and use the profits to pay off the national debt.   It's a win-win situation.